R: Trouble Remembering? Ruh Roh!

This morning,  I had a freak-out moment while procrastinating about getting ready for work. 

I’ve felt sluggish the past few weeks.  Mental fogginess has set in.  Also, I’ve been having trouble remembering things.  Ruh Roh…that indicates a problem.

There are a few things that I do ritually in the morning:

1.  drink a cup of coffee; and

2.  watch the morning news.

With a mug of coffee in hand and the national news on a commercial break, I flipped the channel…to an infomercial.  That was a smart move because everyone knows that infomercials are much more informative than regular commercials (cough).

The program fooled me at first because it was disguised as a talk show.  A smart-looking doctor sat on one side of the table.  A well-dressed host sat opposite.  They were talking about improving Mental Edge.  Hummm…that interested me.

The smart-looking doctor said that…by age 4o…up to 40% of brain power is lost.

I’m 40!  I’m having brain fog! Yesterday, I couldn’t remember someone’s name 2 minutes after they introduced themselves.  Last week, I forgot where I put my keys.  I haven’t been able to balance my bank account.  Aghh!  40% of my brain must be toast! 

CUE THE FREAK OUT MOMENT.

Then…the well-dressed host introduced the star of the show… a miracle cure for mental clarity.  A bottle of pills for $19.99.  And, if I called right away, they’d double the deal.

So, the “doctor” told everyone watching channel 19 this morning that 40% of our brains were gone.  Why?  To scare people into calling the 1-800 number.  Please, don’t ever tell me that I only have half a brain…unless of course you know me…and believe it to be true.  😦

To help clear brain fog, increase oxygen flow in your body.  Take a walk or do some form of exercise.  Try it – I swear it helps.

What’s the status of your mental edge?  Do you have any advice for keeping it sharp?

D: The Dummy and the Department of Defense

Over the past few months I’ve spent most weekends at my parents’ house, which is where I grew up.  Each week, I read their Sunday newspaper.  It’s a small town.  There is usually a story or two that interests me.  A few weeks ago while sitting with my dad and sister in the living room…

Me:  Hey; there’s an article in here about two girls that I graduated with from high school.

Them:  Oh yeah, who?

Me:  You wouldn’t know them.  We weren’t friends.

Them:  Well, then why should we care?

Me:  Because the article makes me feel like a dumb idiot, that’s why.

Them:  You are a dumb idiot, Tracy.  Just joking – har har.   What’s it say?

Me:  I’m not sure, exactly.  It uses words that I’ve never seen before.

Them:  Then stop talking about it.

Me:  I can’t.  I need to know what these words mean.

Them:  What words?

Me.  I can’t even pronounce them.  Dad, you were in the Navy.  What’s the U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command?  And, what, exactly, are  counter…  ahh, counter-in-surgency tactics?

Silence.

Me:  Dad, where is the Northwest Frontier Province of Pakistan…exactly?

Dad:  I don’t know.  I thought you were reading about your girlfriends.  I mean, not your friends…the girls from your school who weren’t your friends.

Me:  They were twins, Dad.  And, according to “Business News,” they went to school in Moscow…and Scotland…and wrote important papers that are culminating in things I can’t pronounce.  And, they are working on projects that involve nuclear proliferation.  It says they both work for the Department of Defense. Oh, and one of the them is married to a Doctor.  It doesn’t say what kind, but there’s a Dr. in front of his name.

Sister:  At my job I get yelled at for forgetting to put catsup on the salad bar.  Dad, doesn’t that make you feel so proud?   Maybe you should call the paper and report that to Business News. 

Me:  Dad?  Dad?  Dad!  Are you listening to us?

Dad:  Yes girls.  Ahh…no, not really.  You are both smart.  Now turn up the TV, the news is coming on….

I’ve written before about comparisons.  Sometimes comparisons are healthy, and sometimes they aren’t.  There is always going to be someone out there who appears to be smarter than you, more attractive, thinner, faster, stronger, or better at something.  I’ve got news for you – there are supposed to be.  We are all unique, and talented, and gifted in our own ways. 

I don’t speak any language but English.  I don’t know much about global security.  I’ve never assessed Russian counterintelligence operations.  But, that doesn’t make me a dummy.  I’m smart.  I could learn those things if I wanted to…cause they’ve got books for that, ya know.

Time to brag.  What talent or trait do you have, or accomplishment have you made, or blog post that you’ve written, that you’re most proud of?  Brag away using the comments link above.

Remember to check back tomorrow for another A-Z Challenge post, inspired by the letter E.

If you liked this post, you may also like There’s No Comparison.

Wednesday Brain Strain (Q1)

Let’s have a little fun today. 

 What is this?

Hint:  I am looking at something, through something.

Leave your guess in the Comment area, above.  The answer will be revealed on Friday, along with some thought-provoking words for the weekend.

Do you like puzzles, riddles, and brain teasers?  Why or why not?