Hi everyone! My apologies if you’ve been checking in finding me AWOL.
The past few weeks have been VERY busy. Plus, I’ve been working on #9 in the ongoing Battle of the UNs, Conquer a Fear. I had hoped to finish battling the UNs by the end of summer, but the last few tasks on the list are taking some time, particularly #9.
For #9, I did some deep thinking about my fears and determined that I have two.
# 1 – Chatting with someone on the Internet, arranging to meet them in person, and then realizing they are completely psycho. My #1 fear is getting famous on the nightly news as “Missing Woman Found Stuffed in Port-a-Pot by Internet Stalker.”
IF YOU SEE THIS VEHICLE, CALL 911
I’m not sure how to conquer this fear, so I decided to move on to fear #2.
#2 – Trying to be successful and failing. I thought about this fear for a while and determined that the Fear of Failure is a misplaced fear. It’s not the Fear of Failure that I’m afraid of…it’s the Fear of Blame.
There should be nothing to fear about trying something and failing. You start a business and it flops. You run and race and come in last. You publish a book that doesn’t sell. You put $10 on black and the roulette wheel stops on red. So what. It didn’t work out. Who cares!?! Just move on and try something else. Failure not a legitimate fear…it happens all the time…every day…to everyone. So, what is the real fear?
I think it’s the Fear of Blame. The fear of criticism. The fear that someone…or lots of people…will look at our failed attempts and call us out on them…saying the reason we failed is because we’re not smart enough, or not talented enough, or didn’t apply ourselves.
The Fear of Blame has a power over me. In a good way, it pushes me to do my best at work and to follow through on my commitments. In a bad way, it terrifies me from stepping out of my comfort zone.
Over the past few weeks, I’m taken a few steps out of that zone. I agreed to speak at a National Conference at the end of October. I proposed an idea to a client that was really thinking out of the box. I agreed to write an article that a lot of my peers will read. And, over the past eight weeks I’ve been intensely training to get myself back in shape.
If I fail, people might point a finger at me. I might get embarrassed. My confidence will probably get crushed. But, that’s the worst that can happen. I’m not going to end up homeless and no one is going to die.
If you need to conquer the Fear of Blame, ask yourself this….
“If I try this and fail, what’s the worst that will happen?” If the worst is that you’ll be criticized and your feelings will be hurt, then don’t let the fear stop you!
On the other hand, if there’s a chance that you’ll lose your life at the bottom of a Jonny-Jon, then give into the fear and run the other way.
What is your biggest fear? Does the fear of blame stop you from trying new things?