Excuse me….but I think there’s a hole in your underwear

Labor Day was dreary and rainy here in Pittsburgh. 

With some time to kill, no sunshine to be found,  and no laboring to be done, I headed to a trendy section of the city to window shop. 

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Some of the stores were closed for the holiday, but many were open.

Victoria’s Secret had panties on sale….

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…and it was hilarious to watch people walk past the sign shaking their own badonkadonks.

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I don’t shop at Victoria’s. 

I USED to shop there…but then along came the moment when I realized that 1) their product line might be TOO YOUNG-STYLED for my age; and 2) the big “secret” is that Victoria is laughing the entire way to the bank.

I’ll risk embarrassment and share the exact moment of this realization…

Flashback

Laundry is the household chore that I hate the most….because laundry never ends.  Just as soon as all the laundry is done, you change your clothes, and POW, there’s more laundry.

So, it was laundry day.  The dark cycle, to be exact.  Trying to beat the laundry demons, I slipped off the shorts I was wearing and threw them in the washer.  “Smart thinking,” I said to myself, “one less thing to wash next week.”

Mr. Backbone’s eyes were glued to The Golf Channel and I could easily sneak past him without ever being noticed…or so I thought. 

And just as I was starting up the stairs…

Mr. Backbone:  Hey, there’s a HOLE in your underwear.

Me:  Yeah, I know. 

Mr. Backbone:  Just checkin….didn’t know if you knew.

Me:  They’re VICTORIA’S SECRET.  It’s a DESIGN.  The hole is SUPPOSED to be there.

Mr. Backbone:  Huh?

Me:  I said it’s SUPPOSED to be there.  Can’t you TELL?  It’s ON PURPOSE.  There’s a cute little BOW on the top.Undies

Mr. Backbone:  Oh, I didn’t know.  Usually when your underwear gets a hole, it’s time to throw them out.

Me:  It didn’t GET a hole.  It HAS a hole.  There’s a difference.

…and that, my friends, is how this story ends.  Any smart husband would do exactly what mine did…turn his attention back to the TV and pretend the HOLE conversation never happened.

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37 responses to this post.

  1. Cute! Leave it to a man.

    I spent my Labour Day working. Hopefully, I have a day off later in the week.

    Reply

  2. How funny!

    Reply

  3. With this clothing(alleged) how does Victoria have ANY secrets?

    Reply

  4. Haha thanks for a good hearted laugh.

    Reply

  5. Posted by sidmilb on September 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Sigh. I wish my Mr. wanted to act that smart. He IS that smart, but he’d rather get my goat.

    He doesn’t the get the getting goat : getting into panties ratio.

    Anybody want to have a hairy 250lb. eight-year-old?

    Reply

  6. OMG, Tracy….faaaaaaabulous post!

    I laughed my badonkadonk off!

    And I LOVE that….…badonkadonks. Never heard of it referred to as that, but I really like it!

    And it’s funny your mentioned (USED to shop at VS) because I did too. When they use to carry MEN’S undies. I kid you not!

    Happy Labor Day, girl!

    It looked like it was going to rain here all day, but it didn’t. I actually had a very uneventful Labor Day. And not nearly as fun as yours!

    X

    Reply

    • VS carried men’s? I understand why they discontinued it – silk boxers always getting caught in the zippers of Levis…not that I have any personal experience

      Reply

  7. Posted by Stacey on September 5, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    That is just funny!

    Reply

  8. Thanks for pointing out all the fun things I’ve been missing. lol

    Reply

  9. Posted by Bonnie on September 6, 2011 at 9:30 am

    LOVE it!! I’m in total agreement with you on the HOLE thing… :)

    Reply

  10. It was rainy here as well. It stunk.

    I think I have those undies, too. The hole is there on purpose, people!

    Reply

  11. LOL! I think “Victoria” is a man, anyway, at least the person who founded the company, just like “Wendy’s” didn’t really belong to Wendy.

    Although my own badonkadonk is the size of a small village, I do like VS – for the colognes. Though lately I’ve migrated to Bath & Body Works & Lush. Tired of finding a fragrance I love & then VS would discontinue it.

    Reply

    • I think the founder of VS jumped off a bridge….hummm…I wonder why. I used to love one of the VS fragrances and I havent checked to see if they still carry it…based on your comment, I won’t waste my time checking.

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  12. Hahah! The mystery hole. Apparently it was a secret Victoria is keeping from men too. If a man doesn’t “get it” then I suppose that is a “sexy fail”.

    Oh and I look EXACTLY like that poster in my undies. In my mind.

    Reply

  13. Ha!!! I think I would have left Victoria behind after that convo as well. ;)

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  14. HahaHaha! Funny!

    I would consider myself young (and so do I you, by the way) but I have to say Victoria’s “secrets” don’t do anything for me… Sadly so. They sell plenty for girls but where do the woman shop? Where else can I look? Any suggestions?

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  15. Too funny! Yes, I gave up on Victorias a while back…I think the realization came when I found out my teenage neices bought their underpants and bras at VS.

    Reply

    • Either their styles are getting younger and younger…or I’m getting older and older. I suspect both are true…although I can try to live in disbelief.

      I bought a VS swimsuit a while ago, and it seriously looked like underwear. As Joe would say, it was a total sexy fail!

      Reply

  16. too funny.. I dont shop there either

    Reply

  17. this made me laugh and I confess, they do have one pair that I have in every color.

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    • When you find the right fit, I say you go for it…and hey, at least it’s a color collection and not the set of 7 that somes imprinted with the days of the week!

      Reply

  18. As you have made so eloquently plain, Truth should always be spoken.
    There is certainly a time and a place to speak NOTHING, until we have
    the proper motive at heart, however.
    God Bless You
    paul

    Reply

  19. Hilarious! I, too, used to be a fan, and shopper, at VS but probably oh, heck, 10 years ago they seriously changed and their stuff no longer appealed to me (I also thought quality went waaaay down). At the time, I thought it was just me. Nice to read that others feel the same way. So for years, I was a Hane’s girl (to the dismay of my husband). Just recently, after getting into some better shape (8 months committment to my elliptical and weight training will do that :-) ), I’ve discovered Aerie and hubby is once again, a happy camper. My point? Well, I did have to laugh at the ‘there’s a hole in your underwear’ because one of the styles I recently purchased from Aerie has this COMPLETE with bow on top. Don’t get it but they ARE comfy so who am I to question? ;-)

    Reply

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