Labor Day was dreary and rainy here in Pittsburgh.
With some time to kill, no sunshine to be found, and no laboring to be done, I headed to a trendy section of the city to window shop.
Some of the stores were closed for the holiday, but many were open.
Victoria’s Secret had panties on sale….
…and it was hilarious to watch people walk past the sign shaking their own badonkadonks.
I don’t shop at Victoria’s.
I USED to shop there…but then along came the moment when I realized that 1) their product line might be TOO YOUNG-STYLED for my age; and 2) the big “secret” is that Victoria is laughing the entire way to the bank.
I’ll risk embarrassment and share the exact moment of this realization…
Flashback
Laundry is the household chore that I hate the most….because laundry never ends. Just as soon as all the laundry is done, you change your clothes, and POW, there’s more laundry.
So, it was laundry day. The dark cycle, to be exact. Trying to beat the laundry demons, I slipped off the shorts I was wearing and threw them in the washer. “Smart thinking,” I said to myself, “one less thing to wash next week.”
Mr. Backbone’s eyes were glued to The Golf Channel and I could easily sneak past him without ever being noticed…or so I thought.
And just as I was starting up the stairs…
Mr. Backbone: Hey, there’s a HOLE in your underwear.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Mr. Backbone: Just checkin….didn’t know if you knew.
Me: They’re VICTORIA’S SECRET. It’s a DESIGN. The hole is SUPPOSED to be there.
Mr. Backbone: Huh?
Me: I said it’s SUPPOSED to be there. Can’t you TELL? It’s ON PURPOSE. There’s a cute little BOW on the top.
Mr. Backbone: Oh, I didn’t know. Usually when your underwear gets a hole, it’s time to throw them out.
Me: It didn’t GET a hole. It HAS a hole. There’s a difference.
…and that, my friends, is how this story ends. Any smart husband would do exactly what mine did…turn his attention back to the TV and pretend the HOLE conversation never happened.
The Chameleon's Backbone 
Posted by Laura Best on September 5, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Cute! Leave it to a man.
I spent my Labour Day working. Hopefully, I have a day off later in the week.
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:41 am
Seriously…I might as well wear granny panties. Take a day off and ENJOY.
Posted by 1959duke on September 5, 2011 at 8:18 pm
How funny!
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:41 am
Heehee.
Posted by Carl D'Agostino on September 5, 2011 at 8:20 pm
With this clothing(alleged) how does Victoria have ANY secrets?
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:42 am
I understand the need to market a product, but putting a butt sign on the public sidewalk…not so sure that’s rated G.
Posted by gcampanale on September 5, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Haha thanks for a good hearted laugh.
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:43 am
You’re welcome…most people laugh AT me rather than WITH me, and I’m okay with that. Hahahaha!
Posted by sidmilb on September 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Sigh. I wish my Mr. wanted to act that smart. He IS that smart, but he’d rather get my goat.
He doesn’t the get the getting goat : getting into panties ratio.
Anybody want to have a hairy 250lb. eight-year-old?
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:44 am
Don’t think you have any takers, Sid. You might be stuck with him. 🙂
Posted by Ron on September 5, 2011 at 9:39 pm
OMG, Tracy….faaaaaaabulous post!
I laughed my badonkadonk off!
And I LOVE that….…badonkadonks. Never heard of it referred to as that, but I really like it!
And it’s funny your mentioned (USED to shop at VS) because I did too. When they use to carry MEN’S undies. I kid you not!
Happy Labor Day, girl!
It looked like it was going to rain here all day, but it didn’t. I actually had a very uneventful Labor Day. And not nearly as fun as yours!
X
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:46 am
VS carried men’s? I understand why they discontinued it – silk boxers always getting caught in the zippers of Levis…not that I have any personal experience
Posted by Stacey on September 5, 2011 at 9:58 pm
That is just funny!
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:48 am
It is…and he was dead serious. Men! Argh!
Posted by pattisj on September 5, 2011 at 11:10 pm
Thanks for pointing out all the fun things I’ve been missing. lol
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:48 am
Oh Patti, you’re not missing much…believe me!!
Posted by Bonnie on September 6, 2011 at 9:30 am
LOVE it!! I’m in total agreement with you on the HOLE thing… 🙂
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:49 am
Smile 🙂
Posted by thoughtsappear on September 6, 2011 at 11:19 am
It was rainy here as well. It stunk.
I think I have those undies, too. The hole is there on purpose, people!
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:52 am
Exactly! Men…listen up…it’s like the hole in the front of your undies, but for no practical purpose.
Posted by Beverly Diehl on September 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm
LOL! I think “Victoria” is a man, anyway, at least the person who founded the company, just like “Wendy’s” didn’t really belong to Wendy.
Although my own badonkadonk is the size of a small village, I do like VS – for the colognes. Though lately I’ve migrated to Bath & Body Works & Lush. Tired of finding a fragrance I love & then VS would discontinue it.
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:54 am
I think the founder of VS jumped off a bridge….hummm…I wonder why. I used to love one of the VS fragrances and I havent checked to see if they still carry it…based on your comment, I won’t waste my time checking.
Posted by Jo Seable- Schaffer on September 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Hahah! The mystery hole. Apparently it was a secret Victoria is keeping from men too. If a man doesn’t “get it” then I suppose that is a “sexy fail”.
Oh and I look EXACTLY like that poster in my undies. In my mind.
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:56 am
Sexy fail – I like that! Everyone can look like that poster…with the magic of Photoshop.
Posted by blueviolet on September 6, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Ha!!! I think I would have left Victoria behind after that convo as well. 😉
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 9:59 am
Totally!
Posted by Yadayadafishpaste on September 6, 2011 at 6:35 pm
HahaHaha! Funny!
I would consider myself young (and so do I you, by the way) but I have to say Victoria’s “secrets” don’t do anything for me… Sadly so. They sell plenty for girls but where do the woman shop? Where else can I look? Any suggestions?
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 10:02 am
Good question! Can anyone out there help?!?!?! If any undie companies are reading this…send samples….we promise interesting blog post reviews 🙂
Posted by Yadayadafishpaste on September 7, 2011 at 10:21 am
I could live with that! 😀 Let’s hope they’re reading!
Posted by SuziCate on September 6, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Too funny! Yes, I gave up on Victorias a while back…I think the realization came when I found out my teenage neices bought their underpants and bras at VS.
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 10:05 am
Either their styles are getting younger and younger…or I’m getting older and older. I suspect both are true…although I can try to live in disbelief.
I bought a VS swimsuit a while ago, and it seriously looked like underwear. As Joe would say, it was a total sexy fail!
Posted by Stacey on September 7, 2011 at 2:14 am
too funny.. I dont shop there either
Posted by Tracy on September 7, 2011 at 10:07 am
Welcome to the club!
Posted by Tammy on September 13, 2011 at 1:25 am
this made me laugh and I confess, they do have one pair that I have in every color.
Posted by Tracy on September 14, 2011 at 12:38 pm
When you find the right fit, I say you go for it…and hey, at least it’s a color collection and not the set of 7 that somes imprinted with the days of the week!
Posted by sonsothunder on September 15, 2011 at 4:43 am
As you have made so eloquently plain, Truth should always be spoken.
There is certainly a time and a place to speak NOTHING, until we have
the proper motive at heart, however.
God Bless You
paul
Posted by milkayphoto on October 9, 2011 at 10:13 am
Hilarious! I, too, used to be a fan, and shopper, at VS but probably oh, heck, 10 years ago they seriously changed and their stuff no longer appealed to me (I also thought quality went waaaay down). At the time, I thought it was just me. Nice to read that others feel the same way. So for years, I was a Hane’s girl (to the dismay of my husband). Just recently, after getting into some better shape (8 months committment to my elliptical and weight training will do that 🙂 ), I’ve discovered Aerie and hubby is once again, a happy camper. My point? Well, I did have to laugh at the ‘there’s a hole in your underwear’ because one of the styles I recently purchased from Aerie has this COMPLETE with bow on top. Don’t get it but they ARE comfy so who am I to question? 😉