In living up to my promise to be unique during the A-Z Challenge, K was the toughest competitor so far. Kindness, the Kindle, Kryptonite…might all be over used. I’ll hedge my bets that no one else is going to write about Ken’s Khakis. So, here it goes…
This is Ken…
When I was younger, I owned this man. I owned him. He was MINE…all mine.
Ken had a closet full of nice clothes. This tuxedo. A few collared shirts. One brown sweater. And, one fantastic metallic purple jacket that he borrowed every so often from his friend, Donny Osmond.
When it came to pants, the boy only had one pair – khakis. I remember those pants very well because one of the pant legs didn’t hold a leg. You see, my Ken was a one-legged man. He still had a cute face and nice abs, though.
And this is the story of how Ken lost his leg…
My younger sister didn’t have a Barbie or a Ken. She had a doll named Candi with horribly frizzy hair. Candi didn’t have a boyfriend…probably because of her wacked-out hair. When Candi got lonely, or when Barbie and Ken wanted to go out on a double date, Candi had to sneak out with the father of the Sunshine Family collection. He was short and unattractive compared to Ken. Worst of all, he was married with a kid. Ironically, the man also wore khaki-colored khakis.
One day, after a horrible double-date experience, Candi, possessed by the evil, jealous thoughts of my own little sister, pushed Ken down a flight of stairs. He landed with a thud onto the concrete floor, screaming in pain. His leg was broken. His hip had popped out of joint. There was no hope. The doctors had to amputate.
And this is why, for the rest of my life, I will always remember the story of Ken in his Khakis. Jealousy is one of those things that starts very early in life…so be careful when you’re feeling envious…someone could lose a leg.
Are there any stories from your childhood that you’ll never forget?