Last week was a tough one for me. In fact, it was probably the most emotionally difficult week of my life…so far. During times like these, I tend to become a bit introspective.
On most days, you see your life as water in a stream, flowing down a defined path. You can see the channel ahead of you but you can never see its end. As you go along, there are a few twists and turns. There are also a few rocks. Some rocks you flow over. Some you flow around. Some you pick up in your current and carry along.
At times, the water runs slow and calm. The air around you is quiet. You can’t see the path ahead, but that’s okay because you’ve been traveling along the same path for so long that it has become predictable. Trees fall and you pass under them. You trickle along.
In an instant, the calm quietness gives way to a loud rumble. You find yourself tumbling over an edge. You can’t hang on. You fall fast and can’t see the bottom. Everything seems out of control. You brace yourself for pain.
With a fast-beating heart you reach the bottom with a loud crash. You tumble over and over and over again, hurt and unable to catch your breath. You feel disoriented, confused, and gasp for air. The current carries you against your will. The path is unfamiliar but you try to regain control. Looking around, everything seems different and scary. You are very afraid.
Just when you think the pain and fear are too great to bear, you look behind and see beauty. It provides a sense of peace.
As you move away from the tragedy and the beauty, the memories of both remain and you carry them with you down this new path.
Sometimes the memories cause you stumble over roots…
…but most of the time the memories of those experiences are used to sprout color in the strange, new world.
Has any single experience changed your perspective on life?
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The Chameleon's Backbone 
Posted by Ron on March 27, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Beautifully expressed post, Tracy.
I am familiar with how you feel right now, having experienced the passing of my father. And what you share here is so true….
“….…but most of the time the memories of those experiences are used to sprout color in the strange, new world.”
Take one day at a time. One step at a time.
Sending you a BIG cyber hug, my friend….
(((( Tracy ))))
X
Posted by Tracy on March 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I don’t think a person can understand the process until they’ve been through it. Now that I understand, I think my capacity for compassion just increased 100 times over. Nice to hear from you Ron!
Posted by SuziCate on March 27, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Beautiful writing. I love your analogy of this as a river. And yes, we never know what beauty awaits downstream. Hugs, my friend. I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve just gone through…what a blessing to be able to see with new eyes. The new perspective has happened to me many times in different situations.
Posted by Tracy on March 28, 2011 at 5:47 pm
You are so sweet. As I was writing this, it reminded me of the way you write, with all of your wonderful stories wrapped around the beautiful pictures of nature.
Posted by Sana Johnson-Quijada MD on March 28, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Single experience perhaps of many singled out experiences to change my life – writing every day on selfcare has been a wonderful changing process. Thk u for bringing me to share my joy w u n sharing yours w us! Keep on!
Posted by Tracy on March 28, 2011 at 5:51 pm
If you believe what you write, then I can understand how the process of writing about self care can be a wonderfully changing experience!
Posted by Lady Mama on March 28, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I love the way you describe the journey of pain and coming through the other end to discover beauty, and the pictures of the woods and waterfall. Lovely.
Posted by Tracy on March 28, 2011 at 5:53 pm
It’s always so easy to see the negative, and yet most of the time there is beauty to be found in any experience, not matter how bad it may first appear.
Posted by Kalli on March 29, 2011 at 9:50 pm
very well written! so sorry you had a tough time but i do believe we grow from the tough stuff 🙂
Posted by Tracy on March 30, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Always growing….even when we don’t think we have the energy.
Posted by Amy on April 2, 2011 at 2:52 am
That was just a beautiful post, my friend.
Posted by Tracy on April 2, 2011 at 8:40 am
Thanks, hon.