How to Park a Body

This post was supposed to be about exercise.  But it isn’t…and this is why…

I was at the gym today, totally minding my own business.


When I overheard this…

Tall Man:  So, after I pick up a body and it’s my lunch hour, can I stop for lunch?

Short Man:  It depends.  Where and for how long?

Tall Man:  Lunch is from 12 – 1 and there’s this diner I like.  So, about an hour.

Short Man:  No, they usually don’t like us to do that.

Tall Man:  Humph.  Well, is it okay if I just run inside somewhere and pick up something to eat?  Like for 10 minutes or so?

Short Man:  Ya, that’s usually okay.

Tall Man:  Okay, so when I do that, where should I park?  I mean, can I just park in a regular space?

When I die, please do not send that man to pick me up.  The mere possibility that the driver of my dead body could be enjoying a Super Value Meal while my body is decomposing lying peacefully in the back seat just creeps me out.

I don’t usually think about my own mortality.   But, overhearing Tall Man getting advice from his coworker about where to park a body during lunch got my mind churning.

According to the experts, now that I’ve turned 40 and entered the mid-life years, I’ll be starting to think about my own mortality more often.  Maybe I will.  Maybe I won’t.  I have a pretty strong belief in my personal answer to the question of what happens after death?, so I’m not afraid of it.  But what I am starting to think about is all of the things that I’ve yet to do…to experience…to accomplish. 

No matter what our ages, most of us are striving to live rich and satisfying lives by our own definitions.  With simple things like laughter…spontaneity…and knowing that inner beauty deepens with age…I have no fears about getting older.  My next birthday is coming at the same pace as yours.  And I’m ready to kick my age in the…

If  you want to go deep:  What does it mean to live a rich and satisfying life? 

If you want to go shallow:  Do you think body-drivers should stop for lunch when they have cargo on board?

Share your thoughts in the Comments section above. 

I hope your week is off to a lively start!

If you liked this post, you may also like An Espresso and $1.23.

14 responses to this post.

  1. It’s late so I’ll go shallow. Should body-drivers stop for lunch when they have cargo on board? Definitely not, they should use the drive-thru or go hungry. 😉


    • I agree; or better yet, they should schedule their lunch before the pick-up.


    • I think I’d rather have the guy park the hearse, run in to Carl’s Jr. or whatever and have a bite, then wash his hands and come out. Going through drive-through and eating while in the same vehicle as the body in the back seems creepier to me.

      Then again, I spent a month living in a former morgue as a teenager. The rooms with the hooks and the big drains in the bottom were a bit spooky, and so was the hall with the worn red carpeting, but at least I didn’t have to sleep in those. My room had a big pink rose mural.


  2. Posted by Samantha on January 10, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Q: Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn to play the piano [or insert dream, passion, hobby]?
    A: The same age you will be if you don’t.”
    ~Nina Yau at Castles in the Air


  3. Posted by Andie on January 10, 2011 at 11:43 am

    I am not afraid to die, in fact, I am afraid NOT to live. Every time the song, Live Like You are Dyin’ by Tim McGraw comes on the radio, I crank up the tunes and sing out loud. The Chorus goes as follows: I went skydiving, I went rocky mountain climbing, I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. And I loved deeper. And I spoke sweeter. And I gave forgiveness I’d been denyin’. And he said some day I hope you get the chance To live like you were dyin’.
    The song gives me pause to check myself.
    I’m comfortable if the Body Parkers catch lunch while my body is in the back. I love McDonald’s fries and if my body smells like my favorite fries in the end that is okay with me. This casual conversation between two “body parkers” reminds me that we all live-we all die. I try to think carefully about the things that I fear and often ask myself…why fear?


  4. “When I die, please do not send that man to pick me up. The mere possibility that the driver of my dead body could be enjoying a Super Value Meal while my body is decomposing lying peacefully in the back seat just creeps me out.”

    HILARIOUS, Tracy!!!!!!!

    For me, living a rich and satisfying life means living in the now; enjoying what’s here. And living it with passion.

    “With simple things like laughter…spontaneity…and knowing that inner beauty deepens with age…I have no fears about getting older.”

    I agree!

    Have a super week!


  5. …and you have a super week as well, Ron. No more eavesdropping on creepy conversations for me!


  6. I just think it’s disrespectful to take a lunch break if you have a body in your car. But then again . . . that’s just me. 🙂


    • I don’t think it’s just you Cynthia :-). I’m sure most of the population would think it’s disrespectful, unless your name is Guido and you refer to your boss as Godfather.


  7. Posted by suzicate on January 12, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Funny post, but that body might possibly going on an adventure it never got to while alive…this convo reminds me why I want to be cremated!That and the fact that I don’t want people sitting around talking about how much better I look dead than alive!


  8. Oh Suzicate, you are too funny. The make-up artists of the dead sure do have an interesting job – LOL.


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