My First Date With 2011

Welcome to the New Year, my friends.  I promised a recap of my first date with 2011.  So, here it goes…  But first, a disclaimer…

Some of my single friends follow dating advice columns.  Ya know, dating etiquette…what to do and what never to do on a first date.  Only, the advice doesn’t seem to work.  With nothing to lose but a little dignity, I decided to try the exact opposite.

Step 1:  Pick the Time, Day, and Place

Advice Column:  Meet on a weekday for coffee.  Or, somewhere casual where you can easily walk away.  Never meet at a house or a hotel room.  Avoid bars and places where alcohol will be served.  Never meet late at night. 

My choice:  Friday night.  Midnight.  Party at a mutual friends’ house.  Where lots and lots of booze will be available.  ‘Cause a first date meeting over coffee just never works.  Plus, I’ll stick only to champagne.  After all, champagne isn’t like real alcohol…is it?

Step 2:  Dress to Impress

Advice Column:  Pick a conservative outfit that reflects your own personal style.  Avoid all bright colors except red.  Men are attracted to women who wear red.   Don’t overdue designer labels, but dress with class.  Wear a soft fabric.

My choice:  I searched my closet high and low.  Sweatpants – no.  Business suit – no.  Strapless dress – no.  Old bridesmaid gown – ahh, no.  Everything else looked too boring or not appropriate for a first date.  Until I found…amist the sea of black…this fabo shirt…

  

 …no, I did not adapt it from a disco ball, but close.  Goodwill, sparkle rack, $7.

Step 3:  Reduce Anxiety

 Advice Column:  Arrive early, relax, and don’t drink alcohol.  Make sure the environment is calm and stay away from large crowds of strangers that may make your date uncomfortable.

My choice:  Drink champagne excessively and position myself in the center of a crazy party… teen idols included.

  

 

 Step 4:  Get to Know Each Other Slowly

Advice Column:  Keep the conversation light.  Don’t discuss religion or politics on the first date, and don’t talk about past relationships.  Above all, do not touch or kiss.  Avoid all contact that would be considered sexual.  Do not take your date home.

My choice:  I blame it on the champagne because  things are a little very fuzzy from this point forward.  I remember meeting 2011 at the stroke of midnight, immediately wrapping my arms around 2011 and receiving an equally robust hello.  And because I promised to always be truthful on this blog, I must admit that I broke the cardinal rule.  When I woke up the next morning, 2011 was still with me….you know where.  

 

We’ve known each other for 2 days now.  The relationship is going well so far, although I did find out that 2011 has some baggage.  I guess at our ages, everyone is going to be carrying along at least some baggage.  I just pray that the bags are packed light.

I hope that your 2011 is off to a wonderful start.