Put the Dress(ing) on Generosity

With the Chelsea Clinton wedding behind us (yes America…  “the” wedding is over and we can now get back to regular programming), every tabloid and style magazine on the planet has a picture of the dress.  Do we want to know if the couple is actually in love, if they could be soul mates, or about their long-term plans?  I didn’t see much about those things in the press.  The press was all about the dress.  It was a Vera Wang, dont-cha-know.
But oh how we love our virgin white dresses.  Mine is neatly folded in a box on the top shelf of my guest room closet.  The box has a see-thru window so I can lift the lid and visit my dress anytime I wish. 

  “Hi Dress!  It’s me, Tracy…remember me?  Remember that one magical night we spent together?” 

I should pay my dress a visit….it’s been years since we’ve seen each other. 

So, what happens when a marriage doesn’t work out, what happens to all of the boxes with the see-thru lids holding silky, lacey, beaded contents of relationships gone south? 

  • Keep them?
  • Burn them? 
  • Sell them on Craig’s List? 
  • Bury them in unmarked graves never to be seen again? 

A change in relationship status is never easy, especially divorce.  Keep in mind that your BACKBONE cannot be changed by a relationship.  You will continue to be who you are regardless if you are single, partnered, or somewhere in between. 

Reminders of old relationships can be painful.  Especially the dress.  If marriage repair is not an option, the divorce is done, and you are ready to move on, I say ditch the dress.  Wait — Not so fast! — Don’t go running for your scissors and start making a Bride of Frankenstein costume for the next Halloween party!  Try doing something positive, like giving the dress a second chance for someone in need. 

My friend Amy did just that.  She was a beautiful bride.  And oh! The dress!  The beautiful dress!  She donated it to a church and it was worn by a stunning bride in her fairy-tale wedding.  The generosity of this act brought a tear to many eyes.  Way to go Amy!


A note from Amy

I donated my wedding dress to the church in hopes someone in need would benefit.  It was bitter sweet, but I wanted some good to come from everything.  My church had started a Latino ministry and so I took the dress out of the box, shed a tear, had it professionally pressed again, and dropped it off at the church’s front office a few months ago.  They found a great home for it last week, and sent pictures to me of a beautiful young couple on their wedding day.  I was overjoyed.  
My brother happened to be with me when I opened the e-mail containing the photos.  Sensing my emotions, he cracked a joke and called it the “Traveling Dress,”a pun taken from the movie “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.”  That made me laugh, and I thought, he’s right!  If this girl passes it on to another bride or maybe a 15 year-old for a quinceanera, well then, not only have we all gotten our money’s worth, but a special warmth and good will is passed on too.  I thought that was awesome. 
Are you a generous person?  Have you ever donated something that changed someone’s day, or even their life?
If you missed Monday’s post on Body Image in honor of “Change The Way You See Not The Way You Look” week, check out Funny Mirrors.  Come back for the next post on Friday for tips about how to cope with aging and milestone birthdays, courtesy of my grandma who has 88 years of birthdays under her belt!  See you then! 

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